


In a coffeeshop in a city

by thewindycity



Category: Fail_Fandomanon RPF, Original Work
Genre: Coffee Shops, Community: fail_fandomanon, F/F, First Meetings, Fluff and Crack, Identity Reveal, Nonnies Made Me Do It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewindycity/pseuds/thewindycity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OAA meets OEA, IRL. Or: femmeslash meet-cute identity!porn coffeeshop crack, with an extra shot of <strike>caffeine</strike> angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In a coffeeshop in a city

**Author's Note:**

> Written as comment!fic back in July to celebrate FFA's fourth anniversary, and now revised and expanded. Thanks to the nonny who originally prompted OAA/OEA, to everyone who commented on the fill, and to my lovely beta Y. Happy belated birthday, meme! ♥

*

OAA was hunched over her iPad, the dregs of her triple shot caramel macchiato long since gone cold, when the crash of something being dropped behind the counter shattered her concentration. Glancing up and blinking in the bright sunlight now streaming into the coffeeshop, she did a double take at the sight of someone sitting across from her. Last time she'd looked up from the screen, she'd had the table to herself.

The woman was haloed in light that made her short red hair seem to glow, but blinking a few more times made OAA realize that it was the new, super-hot barista. OAA had been too nervous about being caught staring at her stunning rack earlier to focus on her nametag (something beginning with an "S," she was pretty sure), and now the tag was gone.

"Oh, hey," the barista said, looking up from her phone and evidently noticing OAA's startled response. "I did ask if it was okay and you nodded, but maybe you were a little preoccupied. I just needed to sit down for a while after my shift."

"Totally no problem," OAA said, belatedly noticing how full the place had gotten. She always tried to order at regular intervals during her stints here, so as not to be a wifi-sucking parasite. But between wanking on meme and making multiple false starts on her exchange fic, she'd lost track of time this afternoon. "Back in a minute – will you save my seat, please?"

"Sure thing," the barista said, and gave OAA a smile that made her breath catch.

OAA refreshed flatview as she stood in the long line. A new nonny had now entered the fray, trying to be reasonable and calm people down. OAA rolled her eyes; this was a thread about coffee, so they'd all left reason and calmness behind several hundred comments ago. She said something short but snarky in response, replied to a few interesting or infuriating comments in other threads, and then looked up from the screen just in time to specify a double shot (since her heart somehow seemed to be still racing from the last one) before Jack made her usual triple automatically.

The new nonny had replied again, still seemingly earnest and apparently very knowledgeable about coffee, by the time she sat back down to wait. The barista put her phone down and smiled at OAA again, gesturing at OAA's empty paper cup. "So, I know your name already – I mean, I'm guessing that's you? Anyway, I'm Sophia."

OAA actually had to turn the cup around to double-check what she'd told Sophia a few hours earlier; it had been weird to be asked for a name, when all the other staff knew her, and she remembered being briefly tempted to pull that Primrose Everdeen trick she'd seen on Tumblr. But no, it was just those three little letters that were impossible to misspell, unlike her full name where a stray "H" often popped up.

"Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you, Sophia." It wasn't hard to smile at all in the face of such friendliness, even though the unpop fight and a few other wanky threads had OAA's blood pumping right now. "You're a new hire, right? Or are you only filling in for Tamara?"

"Just transferred from a branch across town, because I was moving into the neighborhood and wanted to walk to work," Sophia said. "Tamara asked to close evenings, now the semester's started. But I'm sorry – you were busy, and I don't want to bug you."

"Oh, it's fine," OAA assured her, as she started to pull her spiced apple muffin apart; dragging her attention away from her iPad had made her realize how long it had been since lunch. "Can't type and eat at the same time. I hate getting my screen dirty." 

"One advantage to a phone – it's easier to type one-handed," Sophia said, and then laughed. "Um, that came out dirtier than I meant."

And maybe it was inspired by the stance she'd just been taking on meme, or maybe it was the caffeine thrumming through her...either way, OAA dared to say, "Hey, sometimes dirty is good." She added a smile to soften it, because surely baristas got hit on by customers all the time. But Sophia grinned widely at her, and waggled her eyebrows up and down, and OAA found herself laughing out loud.

"So, hey, what do you do?" Sophia asked, leaning back in her chair and sliding her phone into her jeans pocket. The hem of her shirt rode up a little, revealing pale skin with freckles here and there. OAA quickly looked back down at her plate.

"Just an office job. It's boring, but it pays the bills and I get plenty of downtime for reading," she said, quite truthfully; Sophia didn't need to know that she always had flatview and Tumblr open in background tabs, along with news sites and other serious-looking websites. "Are you a full-timer?"

"Yeah – an assistant manager, same as at my old branch. But I'm already happier here, and I only started on Monday."

"Awesome," OAA said. "This is definitely my favorite coffeeshop, though I'm only here on weekends and on rainy days. That's why I haven't seen you before – it's been sunny all week."

She felt like an idiot for talking about the weather, but Sophia looked interested. "Why rainy days?"

"I ride my bike to work when it's nice out, so I get coffee from the place in my building," she explained. "When the weather's shitty, I stop in here because it's between my apartment and the bus stop."

"I'll look forward to the rain, then," Sophia said, and OAA had to bite her lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. It was a barista's job to be nice to customers and keep them coming back, she reminded herself. This seemed like flirtation, but she couldn't be certain and couldn't risk fucking up how comfortable she felt here. This place was more than just a coffeeshop to her; it was her weekend sanctuary, and she found it way easier to write here than at home.

While OAA drank her coffee and ate her muffin, saving the crunchy cinnamon sugar topping for last as per usual, Sophia talked about her impressions of the neighborhood so far and OAA recced a few favorite haunts to her. At one point, Sophia grabbed her purse to rummage around for lip balm, and OAA saw knitting needles, a ball of yarn, and the start of what looked like a scarf – in Hufflepuff yellow and black, but she couldn't assume it was for fannish reasons. Some local college team wore those colors too, OAA was pretty sure.

"Oh hey, how long have you been a knitter?" she asked, grateful for a new topic to latch on to; offline, she wasn't always the best at keeping conversations going. She was a diehard crocheter but had fond memories of learning to knit from her grandma, so that was one wank-that-never-ends she didn't ever get too steamed up about (yarnbombing, on the other hand...).

"For a couple of years now – my last girlfriend taught me," Sophia said, and it was a struggle for OAA to just smile and nod instead of grinning like a fool and fistpumping the air. "Do you knit?"

"I used to, but I'm more into crochet now."

Sophia didn't look affronted or make any warding-off-evil signs; a promising sign. "You know, my old branch used to host stitch-and-bitch sessions once a week," she said. "I already mentioned it to my boss here, and he likes the idea. Good way to attract customers on a slow evening, yeah?"

"I don't know of any other regular sessions around here, so I would definitely come along," OAA said. "I mean, if it was for crocheters and other crafters too."

Sophia gave her a crooked grin. "Actually, I was thinking I'd stand guard at the door and frisk everyone – knitting needles mandatory to be allowed in."

"I'd suggest having duels, except I'm pretty sure needles would be more fatal than crochet hooks," OAA replied. "And you know what it's like, trying to get bloodstains out."

"I guess calling it a 'stitch-and-stab' session wouldn't work so well as a marketing ploy, huh," Sophia said, voice all mock-thoughtful, and OAA found she was smiling so much that her cheeks were beginning to hurt. This definitely wasn't what she'd expected when she left her apartment late morning, earbuds in and volume turned up loud so she couldn't hear Angie and Troy fucking yet again, and spent the short walk to the coffeeshop mentally composing yet another venting thread rant about inconsiderate and insatiable roommates.

OAA excused herself a few minutes later to go wash muffin crumbs off her hands, taking the opportunity to check her face and hair in the mirror...and to check meme on her phone, too. The unpop coffee thread had really gone nuclear in her absence, after some passing flatmemer told that earnest nonny to stick to soda and let the grownups discuss grownup drinks. A whole new argument had then begun as to whether the flatmemer was being enough of an asshole to warrant the subthread being shut down – a modcall seemed imminent there – along with a rehash of "soda" vs. "pop" vs. "coke" that looked set to balloon from the usual US regionalism to countrywank. Some British nonny was flying the flag for "fizzy drink," of all things.

Normally, OAA would wade right into both subthreads with gusto. But she found herself feeling kind of sorry for that nonny she'd snarked at earlier. It wasn't as if they'd said anything wanky, just vainly tried to inject calm into a conversation between wankers with more caffeine than blood in their veins. Anyway, Sophia was waiting for her.

Sophia was staring at her phone, looking upset, as OAA sat down again. OAA couldn't see what was on the screen before Sophia locked it and put it on the table, and was a little ashamed by how badly she wanted to. She sure as hell didn't like anyone seeing what she was doing on _her_ phone.

Before OAA could ask what was up, Sophia sighed and said quietly, "I feel like I could get fired on the spot for saying this, but some people just take coffee way too seriously."

"Some of us are addicts," OAA admitted, figuring that she'd missed some asshole yelling at Jack for messing up a ridiculously complicated order. She prided herself on never having been that customer, no matter how asshole-y she got online sometimes.

"Oh, I'm one too, don't get me wrong," Sophia said. "I just got sucked into this big...never mind, it's dumb."

OAA stirred what was left of her macchiato, tempted to order another even if she'd be bouncing off the walls tonight; it wasn't like Angie and Troy would let her get much sleep, anyway. "No, I'm curious," she replied. "Are there, like, forums for coffeeshop staff? Do baristas from different chains duke it out over how best to make different drinks, while the independent hipster types sneer at them all and stroke their neckbeards?"

"If there are, I've never checked them out. I like leaving the daily grind behind when I finish work – um, pun not intended." Sophia chuckled a little but then dropped her gaze, expression sobering as she traced a fingertip along the edge of her phone. "No, this is just a community where we mostly discuss some, uh, hobbies we share. Usually I ignore the really argumentative off-topic threads. But there was a fight about coffee today, and I couldn't help adding my two cents' worth when I saw it. I mean, I know my stuff, right? And it seemed like these people were talking past each other, comparing apples with oranges, so I thought I could clear some things up. But it backfired on me, big time, and it feels like they all started throwing all the fruit at my head instead."

OAA felt like she couldn't breathe; Sophia couldn't possibly be talking about _meme_ , could she? Surely coffee would come up – and be argued about – in off-topic threads all over the internet, in namespace or other anonymous boards. Except it sounded way too familiar, way too close to the wank spiraling out of control in unpop this afternoon to be a coincidence. And Sophia had been busy on her phone before OAA noticed her sitting across the table, and again while OAA was in line, so the timing could well be right for her to be that earnest nonny who got dogpiled...something OAA had gleefully participated in, maybe even got rolling in the first place.

_Fuck_.

Sophia, misinterpreting her silence, looked up again and said, "Sorry, I'm boring you."

"You're really not," OAA managed, "it's just –"

She couldn't help thinking how easy it would be to fake complete ignorance, express sympathy for Sophia's unpleasant experience, and change the subject. The little devil on OAA's shoulder was jumping up and down, screaming that this was a cute, funny, and sweet woman who really did seem to be in flirt mode right now...and pointing out, in its usual super-helpful way, how rare it was these days for anyone to show any interest in OAA.

But she had really missed having fangirls around, ever since she'd moved here a year ago, and none of her hometown friends were on meme as far as she knew. It'd be wonderful to have someone local to talk to about fandom in general, and about meme in particular, even if things between them stayed totally platonic. And surely it'd be better to know, right then and there, whether two coffee wanks just happened to blow up simultaneously in two separate corners of the internet. She could find out that much, at least, without revealing her part in it.

"Listen, I apologize if this sounds crazy to you," OAA said slowly. "But I have to ask: is it nonny with an '-ie' or nonny with a '-y,' for you?"

The utterly startled look she got in response would have been hilarious, if not for the anxiety coiling tight around her ribcage. Then Sophia laughed and said, "With an '-ie,' but actually I'm a velociraptor. Deal-breaker?"

OAA cracked up too, couldn't help herself, and it took her a while to calm down enough to answer, "Nope, not at all. I mean, I spell it with a '-y' and I'm 100% human, but I'd define myself as...flexible."

Sophia gave her another one of those ridiculously endearing eyebrow waggles, and OAA did it right back before asking, "So, what's your main fandom right now, and is there any good wank happening in it?"

"Well, they just broke up my canon gay OTP, so I'm gonna need more coffee for this," Sophia said, standing up and stretching out her spine in a way that made her curves look fantastic. "Can I get you a refill?"

"Sure – just a double shot this time, please." OAA reached for her wallet but Sophia shook her head.

"My treat," she said, heading behind the counter.

"Thanks," OAA called after her, and then stayed where she was, taking deep breaths.

She could still get away with it, she knew she could; plenty of nonnies simply rubbernecked at wank-splosions, or scrolled past them in flatview, so her knowledge of the coffee fight was easily explained. And just because Sophia seemed to be awesome so far (pretty much everything OAA could want in a girlfriend, in fact) didn't mean that she hadn't been that much of an asshole to other nonnies at other times – maybe even including OAA herself, who knew? Talking to another nonny IRL surely didn't have to mean confessing to every sin committed on meme.

The espresso machine was blocking Sophia from view, so OAA pulled out her phone and was thankful to find the whole subthread now frozen. Steeling herself, she scrolled up and re-read the one comment she'd made to that earnest nonny...to _Sophia_. It wasn't nice, for sure. But it didn't involve cursing her out or dismissing her coffee knowledge, at least. She was shamefully glad that the reply above hers had been way nastier, and generated a much bigger comment chain than hers too; getting beaten to being first was a positive thing, just this once.

Realizing that her role in the dogpile wasn't as bad as she'd feared actually made the decision easier. OAA really liked this woman, and didn't want guilt weighing her down if things went anywhere beyond Sophia making her coffee on rainy days and weekends. So when Sophia came back with two cups and two scones, OAA barely waited for her to sit down before saying, "So hey, listen – I seriously do want to hear about your fandoms and your OTPs, but first I have to tell you something."

Sophia paused with her coffee halfway to her mouth. "Yeah?"

"I was in that unpop thread too, and I think I was mean to you, and I'm sorry," OAA said in a rush.

"Huh, really?" Sophia put down her cup. "Which one were you?"

OAA held out her phone, angled so they could both see it. "That's you, right?" she asked, pointing at the fact-filled comment labeled "NA," and Sophia nodded. "Well, this second reply was me."

Sophia stared at the screen, and then looked up again; OAA forced herself to meet her gaze, because at least now she'd done the hardest part.

"Any of those other comments yours?" Sophia asked, and OAA really couldn't read her expression.

"Further upthread, yeah, but the nonnies I was arguing with were all giving as good as they got," she said. "To tell the truth, I might have kept going with you, too. Except there was this gorgeous and kind of amazing girl sitting at my table, so real life won out."

Sophia smiled, just a little. "Flattery will get you everywhere, huh?"

"Maybe not, but I'm hoping honesty might," OAA said with a shrug.

Sophia picked up her coffee again, drinking it with her eyes closed. From what OAA could see of her expression, it was more "Ahh, sweet caffeine" than "God, I can't bear to look at this bitch right now" – a pretty important distinction, but OAA was still not sure how this was going to go. After pocketing her phone again, she sat with her hands clasped together on her lap, glad that Sophia couldn't see them trembling a little.

Eventually, Sophia put her cup down and said, "Yeah, okay, we're cool. I'm really glad you told me, 'cause honesty is kind of a big thing for me. And, you know, it's not like I've never gotten sarcastic or grouchy or whatever on meme. I bet just about every nonny has crossed the asshole line, at least once – sometimes the wank just carries you away, yeah?"

"Yeah," OAA breathed. "Thank you for understanding. I'm still sorry a bunch of us ruined your day."

"Well, it's not over yet," Sophia told her, and then straightened up in her chair. "Oh wow, I just realized something. We're both connected to the free wifi here, right, so does that mean our IP addresses would be the same?"

"Maybe, but I'm not sure how all that stuff works," OAA began, before seeing where Sophia was going with this. "You mean, it might've looked to the Sunnies like we were one person, just pretending to attack each other?"

"Yep – trolling 101."

OAA had to giggle at that...at the absurdity of this whole situation, really. Sophia gave her a real smile in response this time, eyes crinkling at the corners. Now that the sun had shifted position, it was easier to see how pretty her eyes were – kind of a hazel-green – and to make out the dusting of freckles across her cheeks and nose. OAA had imprinted on Pippi Longstocking as a bookish little girl, and then Willow Rosenberg as a sexually confused teenager, and freckles were still a weakness of hers along with red hair. Sophia's hair looked hennaed, too bright to be totally natural, but the overall effect was pretty much irresistible to OAA.

"Hey, do you need to be anyplace this afternoon?" Sophia asked.

OAA blinked, realizing she'd zoned out a little while staring across the table; super embarrassing, but Sophia was just gazing back at her, head slightly tilted as she waited for an answer. "Nope – I was gonna make a start on one of my exchange fics today, but I'm totally blocked. And my roommates are doing their weekly sex marathon right now, so I don't want to head home yet."

"Why only weekly? Are they too tired during the week?"

OAA had to admire the way Sophia asked questions, like she really was interested in the answer. Maybe years in customer service had made her good at faking it, or maybe it was genuine and part of what had made her great barista material in the first place. OAA wanted to know which; wanted to know everything about her.

"Angie's boyfriend works out of town, and they only see each other on the weekends," she explained. "Her folks own the apartment, so I can't complain much about it, and she's not too bad to live with the rest of the time. She's cool with me being queer and being geeky, at least. Plus, I don't want to move again in a hurry – so many books, so many stairs."

"I know those feels, bro," Sophia intoned, and held out one clenched hand. OAA rolled her eyes, but still gave her a fistbump. It was the first time they'd touched, she realized.

"So anyway – wanna get out of here, maybe take a walk?" Sophia asked. "I can't write for shit, but I've had friends say I'm a good sounding board. You could tell me what your recip's prompts are, and then I could bitch and moan at you about The Powers That Be sinking my ship."

"That sounds awesome, yeah," OAA said sincerely; it counted as the best invitation she'd received since moving to this city, actually. "Can we get the scones to go?"

"Sure," Sophia said, picking up their plates and disappearing behind the counter again. OAA collected up all her stuff, knocked back her now-lukewarm but still delicious macchiato, and refilled her water bottle.

Sophia came back a while later, two paper bags in one hand and a larger Ziplock bag stuffed with carrot peelings and apple cores in the other. Before OAA could ask, she explained, "I saw them setting up a kids' petting zoo over in the park earlier, and all of the critter wranglers have come in here at least twice today. I could probably convince them to let us pet the ponies, and maybe even feed them."

"Oh my God, how are you even _real_?" OAA blurted out. She then literally facepalmed, wishing she could sink through the floor. "Sorry, it's just...yeah, I'd seriously love that."

"You've only seen my good side so far," Sophia said, mercifully not laughing at her. "If you stick around, prepare to be disappointed."

"I can live with that." OAA stowed the food in her messenger bag, and then followed Sophia across the coffeeshop. At the door, she felt compelled to add, "And even though I do get kind of nutty on meme sometimes, I'm not like that in real life – promise."

Sophia touched her wrist, and the look she gave OAA made her feel warmed right through before they'd even stepped out into the sunshine. "I don't think you're a nut, Meg."

*

And they all ~~lived~~ memed happily ever after. **THE END.**


End file.
